#personal-health People are usually surprised to learn that I'm partially blind in my right eye, and also have really shitty depth perception as a result. In 2017, during my second year of college, I started developing a blind spot fairly close to my macula that went from a tiny little speck to two larger circles in 2024. ![[Img_2317.jpg]] <div align=center>This retinal photo is from an eye exam in 2017.</div> People don't usually understand what I'm talking about because they can't conceptualize what it would be like to have something like this. Essentially, though, it looks like I have two blobs of TV static in the middle of my vision when I close my left eye, because if I have both of them, my brain can operate on enough information to fill in the static. In both 2021 and 2024, I had to deal with the blindness becoming aggressive and had to start taking prednisone for these two occasions in order to deal with the growth of the blindspots. My ophthalmologist *guesses* that it's due to inflammation that these episodes occurred, so I was diagnosed with anterior uveitis for now but kind of remain a case study. Being on prednisone though actually sucked. You're irritable all the time and your feeling of being full is broken so you're a human vacuum cleaner. It's weird *not* feeling full. Your only indication is other physiological signs, like you feel like you're out of breath because you're so bloated, but you can't actually feel like you're bloated. During my 2021 episode as well I also developed diverticulitis due to taking prednisone and had to go into the ER for that. Luckily for now my eyes are now stable, but I really don't want to get to the point that I have to get my eyes operated on so the future for now is still a bit uncertain. I constantly look at Amsler grids and panic when my eyes look like they're tricking me and and I hate the panic that flickering lights give me for this reason. I've been broken up with due to this health issue (even though I can technically still do most things normally, like drive) and the idea of losing one of my eyes is quite scary, the idea that maybe in the future I'll lose my ability to perceive the world. But it's not something I'm able to control and that's what's so shitty about human bodies -- anything can happen and doctors won't be able to help you and all you can do is just sit there while it happens. But shit just has to go on as your body slowly destroys itself in some ways. You just have to live the healthiest you can.